Journal day 2

My OTG was finally delivered. Looks good. I hope I bake magical things with it and learn to understand the principle of measures and balance and blend !


As usual at work and not really working. Not sure what exactly to do. And probably around evening time some inspiration will strike me.

As I was browsing, somehow stumbled upon a link for Alma Deutsher on FB. A child prodigy music composer who plays the violin and piano and composes music pieces since the age of 4!

As per her, music flows to her fully formed and she works to record the pieces and string them together in a beautiful melody and composition.

Hearing her on Youtube, one is struck with wonder! How. She is a precocious happy smiling child, only with extra ordinary gifts!


When do I start baking? I must start with something basic and simple. Wholewheat and Jaggery.

what should be my first bake?

I think it will be a wholewheat and jaggery Banana bread. This recipe'. I am sticking to a simple one here.

https://www.mylittlemoppet.com/whole-wheat-banana-bread-recipe-with-jaggery-for-kids/

Awareness vs Attention

Listening to Ishwar Puri ji on Youtube a lot past few days. The Gentleman is 93+ and I am enjoying listening to him. Today's talk, he made some points and they did catch my attention.

He made the point that 'Awareness' does not shift. But attention does.  You can move attention from one point to another , and once I heard it, I felt...Wow! Yes...exactly. I have always known this, but never articulated it. And now that he brought it to my awareness, I understand how attention can be used!

Something I learnt today. Made me happy.

Blogging or penning my feelings and thoughts is still more a pleasure than doing what I NEED to do. Get back to work. I have been like this from childhood! WHY.

And then, why not. Gosh it feels good to just be typing away. click ity clack..clack clack!

So what have I been upto. I felt somehow leaner today and just happier about it. A funny but strange  experience I had today, all in my head of course.

So after breakfast I had dozed off. and while in my sleep. i felt from my left side, a lizard fall close to me. And I shook in terror and woke up from my sleep, realizing I was dreaming it, but my body experienced real fear.

Hmm.....back to work now...hopefully.

How do I make my doer self do what my feeling self does not want to do. I need to split these two.

Apr 29 2019 - Daily Writing

What shall I write about. Write something daily.

I wonder how other people's blogs get read because no one ever reads mine. :D. I could write anything...coz no one would ever read it.

I m so restless. Why is it OK for people to lie and others to accept it as a lie. Today people accept people's opinions as facts. No one wants a fact. they want a hate story wrapped in an opinion and they like to call it fact.

I woke up at 4. Tossed and turned in bed until 5. Meditated a bit and lied down to listen to sleep meditation and slept. He he. 

Like Einstein..maybe I will write that astounding story...better than any story ever written while doing a boring desk job.

Had a strange dream about Jayshree yesterday afternoon. She pops up on my chat, and I comment she is glowing. Is she expecting and I know it's been a long while since we connected. She points me to check her profile pic. In it she is sitting on a big chair in a powder blue saree with silver sequins, looking like a goddess, beautiful and radiant with flowing tresses, front Pallu, and pregnant (Like Godh Bharai pics) and is flanked by her mother on her left and her husband on her right side.

I am informed by someone that she now has a baby girl, named shraddha. Anyways I woke up from that dream thinking..how weird.

Today while doing nothing in office, I thought of pinging her. She was offline so I sent her a message. " Hi Jayshree - how are you. Long time. I dreamt of you yesterday"..within a few minutes she pinged back on Gmail Chat and long story short, I learnt that she still has just her baby boy, who is 4.5 years now and her Mother passed away last december , peacefully in her sleep. She had held her hands in her sleep, and she passed away simply. She probably did not even realize she had died.

She was 65. Jayshree sent me a pic. Her Mom looks so simple and angelic. Jayshree told me I was very good looking but books spoilt me and turned me into a feminist!

Ha ha! I think she nailed it! I love that girl.

3.8.2019 - I am awake but not awakened?

Apparently this is so. So says Eckhart Tolle.

I have been trying to be awakened for 3 decades. How does it happen?

But Donald Trump and other wise men advise, Never Give up!

Was reading an article by Tahira Kashyap who claims Buddhist Chanting gave her clarity.

I was not at all attracted to it, when I tried with Parul. They could not even explain the chant.

So how does it work?

I had a thought about chanting. Why do we need to repeat it. Maybe it is like that stones in the pot that the crow puts. When enough pebbles have been put in, the water rises. And the thirst quenched.

March 8 2019

They say, it is women's day. 
Whatever, that means.

I wonder why I took a large house..
to fill it up?
I am shedding the weight, but I have not figured it out.
I am filling up my house, and even my stuff with something.
something.
Something that I don't need
but I need something
....
............
.....................

What do I need? Why can't I know for sure?
Or is it just a habit of mine to tell me, I don't know.