All my senses are being bombarded. I am listening to Sam Harris' audio book "Waking up" on youtube. I am typing this blog. I am breathing. Reading blogs, day dreaming and what not. After all, are we humans not multitaskers by nature. Our Body itself is a marvel of multitasking.
Want to travel, but safely. Have to learn, and figure out how I can do that, given that I am socially awkward, don't have a knack of making friends, feel dumb, but hate being treated as one, and always live with anxiety that I don't know how to be street smart and will land into trouble, get cheated and no one will help and it will all melt down into a catastrophic disaster.
Oh well!
So read this blog, and got quite curious about the write-up on bhuj. Especially the reference to the Harrappan ruins: https://srishtygrover.wordpress.com/
Met an old college friend 'M' over the weekend. She has changed, put on weight and seems weighed down with life. Her body reflects her state of mind. Seems to be having a difficult, married life and going through some challenges. Hope she gets through it, because she seems to have lost her Joy....well she always seemed to not really have it...much to do with her family life. I recall how at her wedding, I and another friend were talking to her and her new hubby up on the podium and having a cheerful conversation, when some cousin came sprinting up and said to her in front of us, "All the elder relatives have sent me to tell you, not to laugh so much. You are getting married, and are the bride. Look serious and shy". I and my other friend Y, were so baffled and looked at each other. I was so shocked and would have said something irreverent but my friend made a sign to me to keep quiet and I did.
We discussed it later and I found it so sad. Today, when I hear M, talk about her nearly two decades of married life, with mostly a shade of regret, a part of me understands, she has right from the start led a very repressed life due to her own family being ridiculously and stupidly dominating. Nothing new. Many millions of girls face this in India and asian societies. But M, inspite of her education, has not been able to break away and rebel. Her rebellion is passive. She has become very set in her ways, and she does not even realize how many of her "so called imposed rules" are actually self imposed.
But this is our collective human condition. Others can see that the door you close yourself inside of, is a Jail. We think, it is our house. Anyways, inspite of all the probs M listed with her married life, she is clear she wants to make it work and wants to stay married. She just wants more peace in it. I cannot advise hence refrained because what do I know about making a marriage to an emotionally, verbally and sometimes physically abusive person work.
Being me, I would have firmly cut off such a man from my life. Anyone actually. I always do. I see drama and I never hang around to continue to abide by abusers and I find Drama physically unendurable; but then that is my psychology. Most people tend to try to make it work. And who can say which outlook on life is correct. She also has kids in the equation and that is tough for sure....I know. Been through my parents marriage where marital conflict was daily fare...though thankfully it was not physical coz Mom was tough. She would have given it right back....
A easy day at work...and a nice weather. It is still pleasant before the summer creeps in and traps us in it's clutches.
I keep wondering about life and death. What is the meaning of a body, a limited life, a journey where joy and suffering always walk hand in hand. Why does the creator need to create. Why is there never ever any creation without some destruction. Nothing is formed from nothing. Something is formed from something else.
We are mere light bulbs through whom life courses through, and then for some reason our bulb is fused and life just cannot get through us anymore.
hmm....enough brooding. Read Irrfan Khan's tweet today and made a tear drop form in my right eye. I do hope some breakthrough happens in his case, and he survives well on that treatment long and has a good life ahead. He has many more miles to go. Here is what he tweeted....the words make sense ....
"“God speaks to each of us as he makes us, then walks with us silently out of the night. These are the words we dimly hear: You, sent out beyond your recall, go to the limits of your longing. Embody me and Flare up like a flame and make big shadows I can move in. Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final. Don’t let yourself lose me. Nearby is the country they call life. You will know it by its seriousness. Give me your hand #rainermariarilke.”
Well God is always walking, but he has never promised to do magic miracles. He remains silent while we extract those promises from him. Infact, the conviction that God is, is also unproveable , materially. There is no proof. There is a belief , a trust. A desire to believe. A need to. Rest....there is only one truth. We all die. and if we die, we must have lived. After all, the very sunlight, we live by, that gives us life, is already dead to the sun, 8 minutes ago...but it is alive and real to us..Now. The very sky, is alive with dead star light...yet that light is alive to some and dead to some.....and that is the universe!
Want to travel, but safely. Have to learn, and figure out how I can do that, given that I am socially awkward, don't have a knack of making friends, feel dumb, but hate being treated as one, and always live with anxiety that I don't know how to be street smart and will land into trouble, get cheated and no one will help and it will all melt down into a catastrophic disaster.
Oh well!
So read this blog, and got quite curious about the write-up on bhuj. Especially the reference to the Harrappan ruins: https://srishtygrover.wordpress.com/
Met an old college friend 'M' over the weekend. She has changed, put on weight and seems weighed down with life. Her body reflects her state of mind. Seems to be having a difficult, married life and going through some challenges. Hope she gets through it, because she seems to have lost her Joy....well she always seemed to not really have it...much to do with her family life. I recall how at her wedding, I and another friend were talking to her and her new hubby up on the podium and having a cheerful conversation, when some cousin came sprinting up and said to her in front of us, "All the elder relatives have sent me to tell you, not to laugh so much. You are getting married, and are the bride. Look serious and shy". I and my other friend Y, were so baffled and looked at each other. I was so shocked and would have said something irreverent but my friend made a sign to me to keep quiet and I did.
We discussed it later and I found it so sad. Today, when I hear M, talk about her nearly two decades of married life, with mostly a shade of regret, a part of me understands, she has right from the start led a very repressed life due to her own family being ridiculously and stupidly dominating. Nothing new. Many millions of girls face this in India and asian societies. But M, inspite of her education, has not been able to break away and rebel. Her rebellion is passive. She has become very set in her ways, and she does not even realize how many of her "so called imposed rules" are actually self imposed.
But this is our collective human condition. Others can see that the door you close yourself inside of, is a Jail. We think, it is our house. Anyways, inspite of all the probs M listed with her married life, she is clear she wants to make it work and wants to stay married. She just wants more peace in it. I cannot advise hence refrained because what do I know about making a marriage to an emotionally, verbally and sometimes physically abusive person work.
Being me, I would have firmly cut off such a man from my life. Anyone actually. I always do. I see drama and I never hang around to continue to abide by abusers and I find Drama physically unendurable; but then that is my psychology. Most people tend to try to make it work. And who can say which outlook on life is correct. She also has kids in the equation and that is tough for sure....I know. Been through my parents marriage where marital conflict was daily fare...though thankfully it was not physical coz Mom was tough. She would have given it right back....
A easy day at work...and a nice weather. It is still pleasant before the summer creeps in and traps us in it's clutches.
I keep wondering about life and death. What is the meaning of a body, a limited life, a journey where joy and suffering always walk hand in hand. Why does the creator need to create. Why is there never ever any creation without some destruction. Nothing is formed from nothing. Something is formed from something else.
We are mere light bulbs through whom life courses through, and then for some reason our bulb is fused and life just cannot get through us anymore.
hmm....enough brooding. Read Irrfan Khan's tweet today and made a tear drop form in my right eye. I do hope some breakthrough happens in his case, and he survives well on that treatment long and has a good life ahead. He has many more miles to go. Here is what he tweeted....the words make sense ....
"“God speaks to each of us as he makes us, then walks with us silently out of the night. These are the words we dimly hear: You, sent out beyond your recall, go to the limits of your longing. Embody me and Flare up like a flame and make big shadows I can move in. Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final. Don’t let yourself lose me. Nearby is the country they call life. You will know it by its seriousness. Give me your hand #rainermariarilke.”
Well God is always walking, but he has never promised to do magic miracles. He remains silent while we extract those promises from him. Infact, the conviction that God is, is also unproveable , materially. There is no proof. There is a belief , a trust. A desire to believe. A need to. Rest....there is only one truth. We all die. and if we die, we must have lived. After all, the very sunlight, we live by, that gives us life, is already dead to the sun, 8 minutes ago...but it is alive and real to us..Now. The very sky, is alive with dead star light...yet that light is alive to some and dead to some.....and that is the universe!
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