It is a Tuesday.
Today I had a good meditation, using Sam Harris's 26 minute Mindfulness routine. I just descended into yummy relaxation. I was at that level where I then slept..snored and was aware I was snoring and sleeping. It was something strange, yet felt good.
I feel that I have finally released T and S out of my system. It is now clear..has sunk in that S has left for heaven. She will always be remembered in the best of lights, but with the knowledge that she is no more...accepted at every level, it is easy now to carry on without that dampening sadness.
And T is released with good will. I don't feel the need to be friends again. And neither does she. Her very pointed formality has helped. She wants me to know she is happy and at peace and can't remember why we had a difference but that it does not matter. I could not agree more. We finally came to the same page on that. This is like the most amiable divorce :). Ha ha.
I feel clean. Ready for new friends, and a new day and new leanings. There are no hooks from the past, slowing me down...dragging my mind in unanswered questions and status of...did it end well?
It ended. Properly. Each party is happy and well and there is no past score to settle.
Yesterday discovered the poetry of Rupi Kaur. I felt it was me writing...and I marvel that she can be that revealing without feeling mortified. The sheer guts of it is impressive.
Listening to her TED talk, I felt it was a bit exaggerated and theatrical, but still, strip that away and I feel it is honest. No wonder then that she is a celebrity. She connected to several guts...gut to gut.
It feels good writing. I think the meditation made me too peaceful. Strange day at office. Hardly anyone is in office. All are out and about. I need to finish my work.
Yesterday's massage at the spa felt really good ....and I seem to be losing weight..slowly but steadily in an organic way, without dieting. Die Eating.
Hmmm...My neck is..back of my neck and my skull is sore and tender if I crane my neck left right or movie it suddenly.
Today the stock market seems to be going cuckoo all over the world man...wonder what is going on!!!
Ok....time to end this interlude and get back to work!
Today I had a good meditation, using Sam Harris's 26 minute Mindfulness routine. I just descended into yummy relaxation. I was at that level where I then slept..snored and was aware I was snoring and sleeping. It was something strange, yet felt good.
I feel that I have finally released T and S out of my system. It is now clear..has sunk in that S has left for heaven. She will always be remembered in the best of lights, but with the knowledge that she is no more...accepted at every level, it is easy now to carry on without that dampening sadness.
And T is released with good will. I don't feel the need to be friends again. And neither does she. Her very pointed formality has helped. She wants me to know she is happy and at peace and can't remember why we had a difference but that it does not matter. I could not agree more. We finally came to the same page on that. This is like the most amiable divorce :). Ha ha.
I feel clean. Ready for new friends, and a new day and new leanings. There are no hooks from the past, slowing me down...dragging my mind in unanswered questions and status of...did it end well?
It ended. Properly. Each party is happy and well and there is no past score to settle.
Yesterday discovered the poetry of Rupi Kaur. I felt it was me writing...and I marvel that she can be that revealing without feeling mortified. The sheer guts of it is impressive.
Listening to her TED talk, I felt it was a bit exaggerated and theatrical, but still, strip that away and I feel it is honest. No wonder then that she is a celebrity. She connected to several guts...gut to gut.
It feels good writing. I think the meditation made me too peaceful. Strange day at office. Hardly anyone is in office. All are out and about. I need to finish my work.
Yesterday's massage at the spa felt really good ....and I seem to be losing weight..slowly but steadily in an organic way, without dieting. Die Eating.
Hmmm...My neck is..back of my neck and my skull is sore and tender if I crane my neck left right or movie it suddenly.
Today the stock market seems to be going cuckoo all over the world man...wonder what is going on!!!
Ok....time to end this interlude and get back to work!
2 comments:
Though I know a lot about T & S..I am glad that the divorce was amicable with T. This was like reading a mini story..which I can never have enough of. Die Eating made me LLRC 😅
As for the neck, memory foam is the way to go. You have no idea how wonderful the sleep is going to be. I too wish to achieve the levels of chill you have achieved with meditation.
Thank you Nicky! I had no idea you left a comment. Somehow I did not get alerted. Just randomly stumbled. Now will have to re read my post to understand what we are talking about here :). Love you as always.
Post a Comment